Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
