This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
