I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
