I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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