i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
