operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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