I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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