Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
