If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
