Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
