I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
