i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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