the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
