I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
