We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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