It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
