I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
