Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
