Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
