how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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