I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
