I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You smell like stripper and shame
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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