I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
