At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
