I'm really into asian looking animals
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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