She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
