I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
