I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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