Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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