whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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