we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
