Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
