We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
