Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Found your dick twin last night
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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