so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
