Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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