yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
