her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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