it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He better not be in your backpack
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
