When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
