God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
