I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
