My brain says no but my pants say off.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
