help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
