I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
