So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
