Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
