I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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