last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
