i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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