HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
