I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize
